Black Star Within
by Rose-Wisteria
Summary: When you know someone all your life, do you hesitate to tell her your feelings? What if you don’t know how to express your feelings for her? Can one mistake lose her friendship and something more valuable? Colloyd, oneshot


**Note To Readers: **Colloyd one-shot got stuck in my head while I sleep again. I could not sleep right with these ideas and studying to be done. This is my second one-shot on this cute couple. It's way shorter than the first one, but it gets to the point really quick. One of my writing exercises to see how I'm improving on thoughts and descriptions. Thank you for everything and I appreciate everyone who had been sticking by my side all this time. Now, hope you enjoy this latest short one-shot.

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**Summary: **When you know someone all your life, do you hesitate to tell her your feelings? What if you don't know how to express your feelings for her? Could one mistake cause you her friendship and something more valuable? (Colloyd, angst, one-shot)

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**THANK YOU: **I like to thank all who reviewed my last one-shot on Colloyd- "Worth Waiting". Thanks **Michelle of the Night** (supportive friend!I love mysterious endings!), **Lil-Samuu **(I love your fluffy Colloyd one-shots!), **Skyraptor66 **(Assuming you're a really BIG Colloyd fan), **Trickssi **(And you did review! You're a really talented writer as well), **cardmaster372 **(Awww, you called me Queen of romantic one-shots!), **FireEdge **(I write too much, I try too hard, and you're just plain terrific at your Krain fic!), **Rednal29 **(Me neither, and sorry about the lack of updates in the FE section. Blame on Michelle, okay?), **panda >:D? **(Duh, you haven't played the game! Butyou read it for me! I feel so special.), **The Story Master 125 **(GO GO GOBoth of us too! Hopefully, you write something new really soon right?), **Niamh nic Raghnall **(Wow, new name!Too hard to find is probably because they're so perfect that we don't have to write one to know that they belong together!), **PIRO the unforgiven one **(I just love your review, seriously!), **LateNiteSlacker **(Yes, it would and I better check it over if I have time. You better update soon too!), **A Fan **(I have a fan! Hehe. The school part should be essential to Colloyd fics!), **SweetMisery430 **(My question too... they shouldn't be so popular. Yes, sweetness rules!), **lor **(You know me... I can't write something with a little Sheelos once in a while.), **Gijinka Renamon **(Sweet review, I like too!), and **Tiger5913 **(You're a really lucky person. You reviewed and I barely finished with this one-shot. You must be delighted! I try to make Sheelos as popular as possible, but Colloyd should be too!).

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_**No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever.  
- Francois Mocuriac**__

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_**Black Star Within**_

_**By Potter29vo**_

Years come change and from change, you experienced things you could have never before. People changed most of all as time moved by slowly or quickly depending on the situation. Then, there were just mistakes that could not be forgotten easily even if time passed rapidly, whether it was the one who caused it or the one who was caused to.

Broken hearts are created again and again. Sometimes, you wanted to retreat your actions and made up your mistakes. If only it was that easy, then there would be no broken souls.

But what happens when this happened to your best friend? Would your friendship last even if you've known each other forever? What if love made the biggest difference of your life? Retreating your footsteps isn't as easy as it seems.

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Walking through the quiet roads of the small town of Iselia, a limping brown-haired male around his mid-twenties walked and admired the surroundings of place where he got his education from a great Professor at the school. Those days seemed just like yesterday to him as he passed the small school near the north of the town. His chocolate-shaded eyes turned deeply at the sight of the new rebuild school. No matter how different it is he could never leave the feeling that he spent so much of his childhood under that roof.

Those five years at school helped his agility in P.E. and his craftsmanship in art class. He met such a wonderful Professor, who threw erasers at him and punished him nearly every day, but cared for him so much. But the best memories of her were of her time with him away from academics and to the journey they spend together. That journey had changed him more than he could imagine. It changed her too. The journey changed everyone.

Her younger brother was his best friend and a great magician when it came to battle. His magic helped them through tough times during hard battles. But the best memories of this friend of his were his time as a friend throughout the journey. Not once did he not believe in Lloyd. Lloyd showed great gratitude to his awesome cooking skills as well. The friendship they shared was forever and never did he want to lose that.

Then, there was a certain blonde former Chosen in which he had known all his life. She was always alone since she was the Chosen and no one wanted to be her friend until he came and befriended her. They were both outsiders to the other students since one was a boy from a small home in the forest while the other was a girl with a title that held her future for her. When the world wanted to put her down, he was there by her side and helped her back up. He wanted to give up so many times especially when he knew Kratos was his father, but she would always be there for him. He didn't know how he could have gone life without her and she was the same to him.

Gripping to his one of his swords into his right hand, he struggled to walk to the house he knew so well to the east. His footsteps echoed through the silent village in the middle of night where there was not a single individual in sight. He felt multiple feelings of regret and longing to this place he had not been in for years or so. True, the fact that he was not brave enough to go to this place after the incident he had with his best friend, who was not Genis.

The other hand held to the bag of exsphere he had collected and still questioned where he would leave them. This second journey of collecting exsphere took more time than he had expected, much more. He wanted to finish this quest and be back to his beloved village to meet his friend again.

Friends… the word echoed in his mind to think of the relationship he had with the blonde girl. They had spent so much time together and everything they shared together was real and solemn. But in the time, he had been blind and lost the opportunity he once had. He didn't see what she wanted. He didn't even know what he wanted!

While keeping a distance to the small comfortable home, his eyes landed toward the glass window and into the view of the place inside. The area in this village was grown with plentiful plants that surrounded the walls of the home, and gave a fresh sense of the area. Nothing seemed so peaceful as this.

His heart started beating like a jackhammer when he caught the one he wanted to see in all of those years he traveled by himself in his vision. How mature she looked! How long her silky blonde hair was! How tall she was! Even from the outside window and years from now, he could already recognize her. It must had been the friendship they had shared for so many years…

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_Young Lloyd walked into the roads leading to the village of Iselia to go for his first day of school. It took a lot of persuading but at last, he was accepted into the village to have a former education away from all the dwarf's work he had to do. It's not like he doesn't enjoy it, but his father, Dirk, insisted he should learn how to read and write because it seemed right for a gentleman his age to do. Lloyd didn't know what's so great about reading and writing at that age since being a craftsman did not consist of this, but he was obedient anyways._

_Making sure he hid his exsphere like his father told him to, he climbed unto the back of his beloved dog named Noishe and they started on their travel to the village of Iselia where he had never been before, but surely heard about it. The village was said to run by a mayor who thought what was best for his village and the citizens within the village were gentle and kind to everyone. They had trees surrounded their village to keep most of it isolated except for two gates; one leading to the outside world and one to the Martel Cathedral. _

_With a confident smile on his face and a fast pet below him, he made it to the village in no time at all. His eyes darted to the guards who were in front of the gate leading inside. "Who might you be?" They asked in a good-toned matter. _

_Lloyd nodded and got off his dog and answered, "I'm Lloyd Irving. I live near here in the forest." The guards checked him from top to bottom and finally nodded their approval to let him in. He walked in with his dog but his side when they stopped him again. What was wrong this time?_

_"Sorry, but that animal has to stay outside the village's limits." They told him. He frowned._

_"Noishe is not just an animal! He's my dog!" Any boy at this immature age would shout out like that when he thought he heard an insult toward his friend. The guards were a bit taken back to hear these words and realized that he was no full-grown adult. He was a child._

_"Fine, but he can't enter the village." With this last firm, Lloyd scratched Noishe's ears one last time and held the dog tight to his arms. The boy waved good-bye as the animal headed back to Dirk and away from him for now. Suddenly, he felt lonely already._

_When he entered the village, the bell had already rung but he didn't seemed to hear it when his mouth opened in awe to see the village. There were small cottages and people of all ages around him. He kept his eyes opened as he walked through the village that day and spotted anything so unique. Unique enough to make him stop in his tracks to observe that certain item or person. _

_His stomach started making noises when he saw a place where they were selling ingredients for food and wished with all his heart that he knew someone who could cook for him. With this idea, he wondered if he could ever cook. He tried at home once, but it never worked. But because of food, he remembered lots of Darwin Vows already._

_When he arrived at a home near the corner of the village, he managed to stop in his tracks to see another young girl around his age with long golden hair in the sunlight and helped carrying some items in her hands. He never met a girl in his life, and he was curious about it. The only one he knew was his mother, but the memory was so lost in his mind that he only heard about her. Her name was Anna. Then, who was this?_

_Continued to stare, he nearly gasped when he saw the small girl tripped and fell down hard with her school supplies all over the place. He ran to her side and placed a hand in front of her and offered to help her up. She stared into his dark chocolate eyes whiled her sapphire eyes filled with sparkling tears. She wiped them and turned quite red to grab onto his hand. With his strong strength, he pulled her up._

_The next thing the two did was collected all her school supplies on the floor for her. How careless she had been! Lloyd to finish found the last item she needed and she bowed to thank him. "Thanks. I'm sorry." Lloyd didn't know what she was talking about now. Sorry for what?_

_"Sorry? You didn't do anything wrong!" Lloyd told her. She stared at him for a few seconds before leaving her head down in disgrace._

_"I'm sorry." She repeated herself when Lloyd still couldn't understand her. What was she so worked up about? He decided not to continue this case if all she's going to say is "sorry". _

_"Okay… well, nice to meet you." Lloyd said. The girl across from him smiled brightly. A smile that would make the sun go to shame and Lloyd returned this gesture. She held tight to her items and spun delicately on her feet as Lloyd's smile broadened. "Wow, where do you learn how to dance like that?"_

_The girl hugged her items. "My mommy used to dance, or that is what my daddy told me. You see… she died giving birth to me." Lloyd frowned._

_"I'm sorry… my mommy die too…" Lloyd gave her this personal information. She seemed so friendly and trustworthy that he couldn't help but become better acquainted to her. "Let's be friends! My name is Lloyd Irving." _

_The girl jumped at the idea since she never had a friend before. "My name is Colette! Colette Brunel." The two children walked together to school hand in hand and Lloyd would watch her just in case she fell. What the two didn't know was years of adventure and romance to come between the two childhood friends._

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Colette had the same face from the last time he saw her and the smile on her face never changed. Her dancing strands of everlasting blonde hair swooped behind her as she made her way to the dining room, which was also their living room. The cheerfulness in her eyes was still there and never left a single feeling of unhappiness. The way she walked now was different however. She was much more careful since she was carrying a bowl of hot soup in her hands. He watched how she walked, and found out that she was not the same. She had matured indeed when he wasn't around her to protect all the time. She had grown independence.

Guilt flowed through his body when he found himself not joyful to discover this piece of information. Instead of being happy for her independence, he felt selfish since he was upset at the fact that she needed him no longer. They were friends, and always will be. But at times, you just have to be a self-sufficient person who has her own mind and own actions. She couldn't live off his shadows and protection forever.

Something else inside told him that it was his own fault that there was such a big gap in their relationship. He was so ignorant of her feelings of more than just friends. Why did he do this? He had done this once to Sheena already, but now, the same to Colette?

The way she placed the careful bowl of soup on the table made him see her in a different light. She was not a girl that needed help all the time and she was stronger than he ever imagine. Selfish… that's the word to describe him. He continued to see her walk around the table and sat down on her own chair. Her graceful hands touching the tablecloth as her family greeted her filled with love. Something he wasn't able to give her.

Next, she removed her slender fingers to the sheet and clasped together in prayer. Even if she knew that there was no Goddess Martel, she still had faith that something out there wanted her to spend her life in happiness, and forget the bad memories. How could he be that faithful? All those years of thinking had dragged him down the darker pits of love and knowing that he had lost it.

She wanted to share her life with him and opened up with all her heart. He could have had it at Flanoir… He could have had it at Heimdall… He could have had it at Iselia… but he was a coward, a coward too afraid to admit to another individual in his entire life.

Genis said he was the courageous person he knew, but when it came to the matters of sharing your heart with another, he was a coward. Ignorant perhaps. The swordsman could have pulled out his hand and gasped it, but retreated at the last minute. Was their friendship more valuable than anything in the world? Was there no other way?

The former Chosen of Sylvarant felt and appreciated deeply to him, and yet, he couldn't return the favor to her. "I risk my life for her… why won't I accept her?" The question had bottled through his mind forever, but he was scared.

Scared now, but back then, he was dumb. He couldn't see it. He couldn't say the two little words she wanted to hear. The image was so clear and the words were so imprinted in his heart. He really was stupid. Not only could he not be a good student to Raine, but not good enough friend to Colette to know her feelings toward him.

Why was it so obvious to everyone but him? Everyone knew; everyone from Genis to Zelos. Was he blind? Blind enough to lose sense of his feelings toward her? It was there; it was always there. Every day he saw her and ever day they had spend together, he had always wanted to say how much she meant to him. How much he wanted her to be with him forever. And not as a friend either.

Then, the subject of losing their friendship appeared before his eyes. Was love more important than their whole friendship? Even now, the answer was still undecided. If he had made the right decision, then why does his heart ached so much? Ached so much that he didn't want to go on that exsphere journey with anyone, and alone. And away from _her. _

_"My feelings for you are real, what are your feelings toward me?"_

Her innocent question was not as innocent as it seemed. How much he wanted to tell her the feelings he had bottled up inside. At the end, he wanted to be friends. All his feelings to her were merely friendship.

_"Friends… that is all we could ever be." _

Her words were so heart breaking, and he was the one that caused it. Of all the people he lied to, he had to make one last lie to her. With all his life, this was the single mistake toward his friendship with his childhood friend. Those harsh words left her broken inside, but still showed a smile on her face. Then… he left her. He left to collect exsphere. And she was alone.

_"Three little words I wanted to hear… but I was wrong." Colette turned her back to him and left with sad eyes but showed it with determination. Lloyd, on the other hand, just stood there and watched her walk out of his life. Maybe forever or maybe not. She never looked back._

The hands to the side of his body curled into a fist and how much he wanted to just burst through the door and told her how much he cared for her. How much he wanted to be more than just friends. How wrong he was before! How nervous he was before!

But what done was done. Nothing could ever change. If he was to bother her anymore, he was colder than Celsius and just left her miserable like before. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe fate had chosen this path for the two of them. Colette will find someone more suitable for her while he wandered to the last of his days. The one mistake of his life… will leave a permanent mark for the two of them.

Lloyd gave one last look at Colette and her family as they cleared up the dishes for dinner. The girl was the last to leave the room with one hand was holding dishes while the other was empty and left alone to the side of her body. She stared deeply into the candlelight with something in her mind, it would seem. His eyes widened to see a glint of sorrow in her beautiful blue eyes before she blew out the candlelight. That was all. Now, there was only darkness. Colette was gone.

The movement of how she walked to the table that day would always stay with him forever. The days of childhood they spend together would always stay with him forever. The journey and hardship they shared would always stay with him forever. Lastly, the day when she told him her feelings and how he wanted to be friends instead would leave the biggest feeling in his heart and stayed with him forever. When she turned her back to him and walked, he knew that was the end.

_You will always be a star in my heart, always shining with your never-ending smiles and leaving me with the feeling of being loved. But as I left this day, the darkness will consume it… because I had no courage to say what I wanted to say. But even if it is dark, I know the star will always be there to guide me. A helping hand that would never stop helping. Maybe it was for the best. I still don't understand what three words you wanted to say. But- I love you._

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**Ending Notes: **Another angst/romantic one-shot done! I believed that was okay for a short one-shot. I think I really need a break from those really long one-shots and chapters with this one. I thought it was sweet how Lloyd thought that way even if the ending was bit angst. I don't think Lloyd or Colette was OOC but if they were, please tell me. This is my view on how they would react if this actually happened. Hopefully, not though. Oh and I am still working on the Kraine one-shot. Thank you so much for reading this small piece of writing by myself. Minnie loves you all! **R & R!**


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